In this class, we're going to:
🗒️ Look at a model essay
🔬 Analyse the question
🗺️ Look at the bullet-point plan
✍️ Examine how to paraphrase the question
🎯 Look at how to write a thesis statement
🧱 Analyse the structure of the main body paragraphs
👏 See how to write a conclusion.
1. 🗒️ The Model Essay
Look at the Writing Task 2 question below, and think:
How would you answer this question?
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? |
Then, compare your ideas with the model essay below.
Would you have written something similar?
Since the majority of adults spend so much time at work, it is important that they are satisfied with their jobs for their mental and physical health. I believe that the two most significant contributors to job satisfaction are that workers enjoy what they do, and that they have good relationships with their colleagues. However, unfortunately I do not think that it is realistic for everyone to expect to attain total job satisfaction.
There are two key aspects of working life which can lead to job satisfaction. The first, and arguably most important, is that people enjoy the tasks they have to do. Many artists, for example, often say that they love what they do in their work, that it does not even really feel like working, and that they feel truly rewarded seeing a completed artistic project. The second aspect is that workers get along well with their colleagues. As people spend so much time working, it is crucial that they enjoy the company of their peers.
Nevertheless, it is highly unlikely that every adult worker will find fulfillment in their job. This is because, sadly, there are a vast number of less than desirable jobs in the world that need to be done, despite the fact that they are boring, or involve working in unpleasant conditions. It is well-documented that Amazon treats its warehouse employees poorly while they complete their tedious repetitive duties, and this is a company which employs hundreds of thousands of these unsatisfied workers.
In conclusion, when the work itself is enjoyable and interesting and when the working environment is good on a social level, workers may feel satisfied with their jobs. Still, there are a great many jobs around the world which people do despite not finding them satisfying, and it is doubtful that all workers can expect to feel fulfilled at work.
309 words, band 9.
2. 🔬 Analyzing the Question
This is how I read the question, and began to think about the content and structure of my essay.
3. 🗺️ The Bullet Point Plan
Next, I planned all of the ideas I would include in my essay.
The plan for my intro and conclusion is just two main bullet points for my two main arguments.
The plan for my main body paragraphs has one bullet point for every POINT, EXPLANATION and EXAMPLE.
1) Job satisfaction = workers enjoy what they do AND get on well with their colleagues
2) However, not very realistic for all workers.
- two key factors
- first, people enjoy the tasks they have to do
- artists don't even feel like they're working and get satisfaction from finishing projects
- second, people have good relationships with colleagues
- people spend so much time at work, it's crucial to enjoy company of peers
- Nevertheless, highly unlikely for every worker to find fulfillment
- there are many jobs which are boring and where people don't necessarily have good workplace relationships
- Amazon warehouse employees have an repetitive job and are treated badly
- Amazon employs hundreds of thousands of these unsatisfied
Key:
1) Main argument
2) Main argument
- Point
- Explanation / Development
- Example
Notice how the above plan corresponds to the finished essay below.
Since the majority of adults spend so much time at work, it is important that they are satisfied with their jobs for their mental and physical health. I believe that the two most significant contributors to job satisfaction are that workers enjoy what they do, and that they have good relationships with their colleagues. However, unfortunately I do not think that it is realistic for everyone to expect to attain total job satisfaction.
There are two key aspects of working life which can lead to job satisfaction. The first, and arguably most important, is that people enjoy the tasks they have to do. Many artists, for example, often say that they love what they do in their work, that it does not even really feel like working, and that they feel truly rewarded seeing a completed artistic project. The second aspect is that workers get along well with their colleagues. As people spend so much time working, it is crucial that they enjoy the company of their peers.
Nevertheless, it is highly unlikely that every adult worker will find fulfillment in their job. This is because, sadly, there are a vast number of less than desirable jobs in the world that need to be done, despite the fact that they are boring, or involve working in unpleasant conditions. It is well-documented that Amazon treats its warehouse employees poorly while they complete their tedious repetitive duties, and this is a company which employs hundreds of thousands of these unsatisfied workers.
In conclusion, when the work itself is enjoyable and interesting and when the working environment is good on a social level, workers may feel satisfied with their jobs. Still, there are a great many jobs around the world which people do despite not finding them satisfying, and it is doubtful that all workers can expect to feel fulfilled at work.
4. ✍️ Paraphrasing the Question
The Question:
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
The Paraphrasal:
Since the majority of adults spend so much time at work, it is important that they are satisfied with their jobs for their mental and physical health.
As / Since / Because / Due to fact that are useful synonyms that you can use for paraphrasing, and for showing a range of connectors in your essays.
Here, rather than paraphrasing word-by-word, I've rewritten the whole phrase, keeping some words, changing others, and changing the order - but, importantly, I've tried to keep the meaning the same.
Again, rather than paraphrasing word-by-word, I've rewritten it. Importantly, I've changed the noun 'satisfaction' for the adjective 'satisfied'. Knowing words' relatives (nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs) is vital for paraphrasing and avoiding repetition.
I've demonstrated that I understand what 'wellbeing' is, but if you can't think of a good synonym for this, you could just copy this word.
5. 🎯 Writing the 'Thesis Statement'
The first sentence is my direct answer to the first question, and it tells the reader what my first paragraph will be about. The second sentence is my direct answer to the second question, and it tells the reader what my second paragraph will be about.
Since the majority of adults spend so much time at work, it is important that they are satisfied with their jobs for their mental and physical health. I believe that the two most significant contributors to job satisfaction are that workers enjoy what they do, and that they have good relationships with their colleagues. However, unfortunately I do not think that it is realistic for everyone to expect to attain total job satisfaction.
I used the word 'However,' here to show that the second point somewhat contrasts with the first. This contrast will be reflected later in the essay with the connectors 'Nevertheless,' (at the start of the second main body paragraph) and 'Still,' (in the conclusion)
6. 🧱 The Main Body Paragraphs
For the first paragraph, I wanted to give two factors to directly answer the first question, so I used a topic sentence which explained that the paragraph contained two ideas, then used a 'First, ...', 'Second, ...' structure to organise them.
There are two key aspects of working life which can lead to job satisfaction. The first, and arguably most important, is that people enjoy the tasks they have to do. Many artists, for example, often say that they love what they do in their work, that it does not even really feel like working, and that they feel truly rewarded seeing a completed artistic project. The second aspect is that workers get along well with their colleagues. As people spend so much time working, it is crucial that they enjoy the company of their peers.
For the second paragraph, in the topic sentence I gave a direct answer to the second question, then in the following sentences I justified that point with explanations and examples which related to (or, contrasted with) the explanations and examples in the previous paragraph.
Nevertheless, it is highly unlikely that every adult worker will find fulfillment in their job. This is because, sadly, there are a vast number of less than desirable jobs in the world that need to be done, despite the fact that they are boring, or involve working in unpleasant conditions. It is well-documented that Amazon treats its warehouse employees poorly while they complete their tedious repetitive duties, and this is a company which employs hundreds of thousands of these unsatisfied workers.
7. 👏 The Conclusion
The conclusion is just a brief summary of the main arguments - a repetition of the main points in the introduction and the two topic sentences. It is more or less the same as the introduction, but without the paraphrasal.
Apart from that, in this case, the main difference between my introduction and my conclusion is that in my introduction, I gave a very simple answer to the second question, but in the conclusion I have given a bit more detail, summarising the argument that I made in the second paragraph.
In conclusion, when the work itself is enjoyable and interesting and when the working environment is good on a social level, workers may feel satisfied with their jobs. Still, there are a great many jobs around the world which people do despite not finding them satisfying, and it is doubtful that all workers can expect to feel fulfilled at work.